Chapter 9-1

My name is Lavender, and this is my story now.

 In the weeks following the night with Mac, I decided that it was time for me to grow up, and start acting like the adult that I am. So, I shed my old emo image for a more feminine and mature one. Time to start anew and put the past behind me. No point in dwelling over it.

So, I've decided to pursue a career in acting. I want to make my name known to the world, to be an idol to people of all ages, an idol better than what Mac had proved to be.

 And, yes, I'm pregnant in case you're wondering. 
All because of Mac. 
It seems that night had some more permanent consequences than I thought. 

Did I ever once consider the fact that pregnancy could have resulted from my relations with Mac? Not once. 
Why? 
Because I was young and stupid.

 Let's back up a little bit, shall we?

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Right after I gave myself a makeover, the realization that I could be pregnant hit me. I didn't need a test to know for sure. My body was telling me loud and clear. 

What did I do next?

I cried. A lot.

I spiraled into a depression. When I broke the news of my pregnancy to my parents, friends and other family members, they all had the same reaction: What the hell we you thinking?!

I spent the first trimester of my pregnancy in bed, avoiding everyone. In my own little world. Thinking about what is going to happen next.

I had tried to contact Mac, figuring I should at least let him know about the baby, even though I had no interest in talking to him. The only contact I could find was his agent, so I emailed her. And...nothing. Not one word.

Then one day, I decided I needed to stop pouting and face my problems.

I was tired of being sad and lonely, so I made a change. I forced myself to go out in public and be social; I started taking acting classes, and anything else to help me make something of myself instead of wallowing in self-pity.

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That brings me to where I am now, five months after the show, walking the streets of Del Sol Valley looking for potential gigs. Unfortunately luck hasn't been on my side. Not many people want to give a gig to a pregnant girl.

I just have to keep looking. Searching my phone for any listings that I may have missed, I'm lost in my own thoughts, and wasn't paying attention to anyone around me.

Lavender, is that you? 

I hand touched my shoulder, and I turned to look at the man who spoke. It was Mac.

Lavender: Mac?
Mac: I thought that was you. You look gorgeous. Love the new look.
Lavender: *coldly* What do you want?

Mac: I-I just wanted to talk to you, and here you are.
Lavender: Well, I don't want to talk. Goodbye.
Mac: Lavender, wait, please. I wanted to tell you...
Lavender: Look, whatever you have say isn't going to convince me that you're a good guy all of a sudden, okay? Now leave me alone.

Mac: La-
Lavender: Why don't you go to those other women that you've hooked up with. I'm sure they'd love a round two. F**k you, Mac.
Mac: Shhh...Lav, you're making a scene.
Lavender: What? You don't want to ruin your perfect reputation? Well I got news for ya...
Mac: I get that you're angry; you have a right to be. Tell you what, I'll be in the area all week. If you change your mind and decide you want to talk about it, meet me here, and we'll talk in private.
Lavender: Whatever.

Looking defeated, he turns around without another word and continues on his way. Good riddance.

Later on, I really got to thinking. What was it he wanted to tell me? Is it really that important to stop me on the street?

The curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to take him up on his offer to talk. 

I went to the building he had mentioned, and one of the guards called him outside to confirm that I did know him.

Mac: She's alright, thanks man. She's with me. 
Guard: Oh, alright. You may enter, young lady.
Lavender: Thank you.
Mac: *smiling* I'm glad you came.

Lavender: Let's just get this over with.

Mac: As you wish, follow me.

He led me inside and up the stairs. I was in awe at how beautiful the place was. I couldn't help but smile to myself.

The upper floor was surprising empty aside from a few couches and paintings. He led me to the other side of the room, and he motions for me to have a seat on the couch. Talk about deja vu.

His phone rings as he joins me on the couch.

Mac: Let me silence this real quick. That's better.

Lavender: Alright, Mac. I'm here. What was so important that you needed to talk to me?

Mac: I wanted to say that since that night, I haven't been able to get you off my mind. You're all I can think about.

Lavender: Oh, please. I'm sure you say that to all the women you've been with.

Mac: No, I don't. I've never said or thought that to any of them. There's something about you...you're special.

Lavender: Special, eh?

Mac: Lavender, I know we didn't leave off on good terms, but I think I...love you.

Lavender: W-what?

Mac: I love you, Lavender. Like really love you, not just in the physical sense. I love your personality, your strong will, your smile...

Lavender: Mac, I..don't know what to say...

Mac: I want you to know that I haven't been with anyone else since that night. I didn't even feel the desire to sleep with anyone. I just wanted to get that off my chest. If you don't feel the same way, I completely understand, given the circumstances. 

Lavender: ...

Mac: I get it. I'll let you get going. I'm sure you're busy. Good luck with everything, Lav.

Lavender: Wait.

Mac: Hmmm?

Lavender: Do you really mean that?

Mac: Yes, I'm not going to lie to you. If I didn't feel this way, I wouldn't say it.

What are you doing, Lavender? Don't even think about it. Don't fall for this again. 

Against what is probably my better judgement, I move closer to him.

 Damn it, Lav. Don't do this. He's just doing the same thing that he did before.

I stand up, and get ready to leave. He stands up as well and walks over to where I'm standing, and takes my hands in his.

 Mac: Please, let me show you that I am a good guy. Albeit, one that has made stupid mistakes in the past but a good one none the less. Give me a chance.

I stand there silently for a minute. He seems to give up and drop my hands. As he's about to walk away, I stop him.

Lavender: Wait. I-I'm probably going to kick myself for doing this, but I'll do it. I'll give you a chance.

Mac: Really? You will?

Lavender: *smiling* Yes.

 

 He pulls me closer, and that familiar smell intoxicates me. I can't pull myself away. He leans in and kisses me. Sweet and innocent, not hungry and sex-driven like before.

He backs up, momentarily looking confused.

Mac: Lavender, are you...pregnant?
Lavender: Uh, yeah, you really didn't notice until now?
Mac: No, I didn't. I was too focused on your gorgeous face.

Lavender: Yes.

Mac: What?

Lavender: Yes, it's yours. I know that's what your thinking.

Mac: Yeah, I was. I figured it was mine, but I didn't know if you were seeing someone else who could have potentially...

Lavender: No, there hasn't been anyone else.

Mac: Wow. I'm gonna be a dad, and I didn't even know it. Why didn't you try to contact me?

Lavender: I did. I tried to reach you through your agent since I couldn't find a direct contact to you.

Mac: Huh. I wonder why she didn't give me the memo. Trust me, if I saw the emails I would have reached out to you. I'm not going to make you raise this baby alone. Unless, that's what you want?

Lavender: Not particularly. I'd love for you to be involved.

Mac: *smiles* Okay, good. I'd like that. I'll give you my number. If you need to talk or want help with something, just hit me up, okay?

Lavender: Yes, of course.

 Maybe it was stupid to give him a chance, but honestly at this point, what else could go wrong? I mean, I'm already pregnant, what could happen? My pregnancy hormones probably have a lot to do with my decision. I've been craving intimacy, not necessarily sex, just someone to snuggle up to, to love me.

I just hope he really means what he said. I don't want to be disappointed again.

Ever.

Chapter 9-2 -->

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